Your highness, I approached King Charles V of Spain with an exciting plan. He told the king that he would sail to the Indies by rounding the southern end of South America and crossing the Pacific Ocean, something no one had done before.
HEY LOOK!!! it's the natives. they're super tall with big feet
Water was drank that was so unclean it had turned thick and yellow, and worst of all OUR men suffered from a disease which caused the gums to swell up so much that eating was impossible