Communication in the Family
Öykü Penceresi Metni
- Once upon a time...
- This is the story of the Pinkney’s. An upper-middle class, African American, semi-blended family. Matt Sr. Pinkney brought Matt Jr. from a previous marriage, and Matt Sr. and Felicia had 4 daughters. I (Sierra) am the oldest, followed by 3 younger sisters. Matt Jr. is 11 years older than me, so there was quite an age gap, which left a stereotypical sibling dynamic (from a nuclear family) out of the question.The Pinkney’s are a big and complicated bunch, but we wouldn’t have gotten to where we are right now if it hadn’t been for the things we experienced and learned throughout our lifetime.
- Matt Jr. (Brother 34)Serial Entrepreneur
- Bria (Sister 14)Student
- Sierra (Me 23)Student/ Law Clerk
- Felicia (Mom 55)Ad Agency Copywriter
- Regan (Sister 17)Student
- Taylor (Sister 21)Student
- Matt Sr. (Dad 56)Graphic Designer
- Here are some pictures of my extended family and my immediate family. My immediate family isn't together often so family pictures comes once in a blue moon, and the picture on the bottom is about 10 years old. The picture on the top is from a family reunion on my mothers side that happened this past summer. Something we have always valued is family and making sure we stay connected, no matter the generation.
- Me and my parents relationship didn't start to improve/ be healthy until I started college and started making my own choices. Growing up I always did as they said, didn't get in trouble much so I could make sure to set a good example for my siblings. Didn't ask for much because we were poor so I figured out how to do stuff on my own. For instance, my brother used to sell candy when he was in high school, so I did that in middle school. I also created a shop with my sister closest in age to make extra money. We called it The Sister Shops and we sold handmade jewelry, origami, and crocheted hats and scarves.
- I grew up in Fort Worth, TX, a predominantly white area of middle class standing.My brother is 11 years older than me, and 20 years older than our youngest sister, so we didn’t experience many things together. There are a few memories that I have of living with him that are worth noting in this story.We didn’t grow up wealthy, but we got by. My father has always been the hardest worker I’ve ever known, and seeing my brother emerge into adulthood, he’s the 2nd most hard working person I know. My brother was aware that we weren’t as financially stable as I thought, so when he was in high school, he would sell candy at school and on the bus to his fellow classmates. It was no surprise that his business was a success.Both of my parents were laid off in 2008 during the recession, and we moved to a small town called Prosper, TX, also another predominantly white area. We lived with an affluent family friend for about 8 months until my parents could find a place for the 6 of us to stay.
- I grew up at the age of 8. I was put into an adult mindset because of the hardships my family endured after the recession. One thing I learned after my parents were laid off was how much my parents did to make sure us kids had what we needed. They didn’t eat on some nights to make sure we were fed. They spent money on the absolute necessities without telling us kids how much of a financial struggle we were facing. Chapter 7 talks about conflict, and after losing our home and becoming less financially stable, conflict was something that was faced daily. Unfortunately, due to constant stress, my family could never find a way to efficiently deal with it. My parents are the ones who would like to come to some kind of conclusion, but they have different conflict tactics. My father is solution oriented, while my mother uses the control tactic. Arguments rarely got settled because of opposing viewpoints.
- My brother is 11 years older than me so there is quite an age gap. I used to look up to him and wanted to do everything he did. When he left for college, it was up to me to be the oldest and set the example so I did what I could remember him doing and set examples for my sisters as best I could. He was a straight A student in high school and graduated with scholarships. He paid off his student loans within a year of graduating college. He has always been successful in everything he does. I only felt it was right for me to live up to those standards he put into place, so my siblings could also give it their all, just like I do.
- Pictured is my brother at age 18 at his senior prom.
- For me and my sisters, we werent always close. The oldest two used to be closest and then the younger two wanted to be like us but we never wanted to play with them. As the oldest sister, I helped raise them while my parents were working, so that they didn't have to be so stressed.
- On this page I want to dive into some of the struggles my sisters and I went through, growing up poor in an affluent community and not getting to have some of the things that other kids our age had. I would like to talk more about trying to stay humble and not envy the other kids around us.
- Chapter 3 of the textbook talks about family roles, and growing up, finances and taking care of the kids were equally divided amongst my parents. After I realized what was going on, I took on an “honorary parent”, to alleviate stress from my parents. My youngest sister was an infant at the time so I changed diapers, fed her, put her to sleep, etc. I made sure my other siblings followed our parents rules e.g. going to bed on time, phones on the dinner table before bed, homework checks, etc. At times, my mom would catch me slacking and would tell me how she also took care of her siblings when she was young. She is 13 years older than her youngest sibling and she also took on the “honorary parent” title while her parents worked to support her and her 2 sisters. Hearing that this has been generational felt both motivating and disappointing. Motivating in the sense that I can do it too. Disappointing in the sense that this is an ongoing problem for my family.
- Pictured above is my great Uncle, one of my successful business owning family members who passed down the spirit of entrepreneurship down through our family.
- THE END
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