I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have friends...
Stop singing! (Picks up Donkey by his ears and tail) It's no wonder you don't have any friends (drops him).
 Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.
Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
DONKEY: (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh...really tall?
SHREK: No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you?