The Big Bad Musical
Storyboard Text
- Ladies and gentlemen, they say justice is blind, well, if justice is blind and bats are blind, then justice must be a bat, eh?
- In this court today, we are here to try an individual accused of many heinous acts. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I will ask you all to keep in mind this important and difficult concept throughout the many grueling hours of this trial
- This concept is that guilty is the opposite of not guilty, and not guilty is the opposite of guilty. That's it. Very well, shall we begin?
- What? you don't have a refrigerator?
- How do you keep your milk fresh? Ah! your lawyer! Yes. who is that? oh (chuckles) shes a lot of fun, ms evil stepmother!
- What? oh yes, of course, counsel. Well, where is your counsel? why is it not here? Did you lose it? Did you check in your pockets? under the seat cushions? Behind the refrigerator?
- No, Sir, I haven't, but-
- That's not what I-
- Your honor, sir, I have no counsel
- Ummm... You know what? I would come up with an excuse, but, really, forget it. I don't do pro-bono work, so i'm not all that excited about this case, to be honest with you. Plus, i think it's pretty much doomed to failure
- May I inquire as to why you are late, counselor?
- Yes. of course, right away
- , so I don't really prepare a whole lot, and I was ind of pulling some things together at the last minute, and I was up late last night yelling at my stepdaughter to clean the cinders out of the fireplace.
- So I thought I'd sleep in a little and treat myself to a nice long breakfast with my colleague and witness over there. So, are we going to get this thing going? I've got a facial scheduled at five.
- Now then, court is in session. Oh! opening remarks! ms godmother?
- Oh. Am I? Oh, well, that's not good, Ummm... Ms. Stepmother, ummm... a bit of wisdom for you. Being late is wrong. Wrong is the opposite of right. Right is the opposite of left. Therefore if you are late, and I will ask you to leave.
- Objection! Your honor, I object the counsel for the defense's attitude. Clearly she is making a mockery of this courtroom and you are allowing it
- What?
- You're Not even gonna try? you're not going to do anything for me?
- Im Doomed! im going to be robbed blind
- Yeah, you heard me. No statement. Thanks, though.
- 1. Thank you ms. godmother, ms stepmother?2. Very well, Moving on...3. Ms godmother, call your next witness
- Look Wolfie, nobody's going to save you, and even if someone were going to, it sure wouldn't be me
- Oh. Um, no, I waive it
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