Gaslighting
Snemalna Knjiga Besedilo
- Scene 1: Redirecting thhe conversation
- Jonny comes home late to his girlfriend Vi. She was worried about his wellbeing when meanwhile he was out with another girl. Jonny does not want to get caught so instead of answering Vi's question, he questions her instead. By doing this he redirects the focus of the conversation at Vi and away from him. In normal circumstances Jonny would like to talk about his outing, since most people love to talk about themselves.
- What were you doing out so late?
- It doesn't matter. Why are you so paranoid?
- Vi doesn't give up on questioning Jonny's whereabouts. Jonny, who had expected this, starts to play the victim. Vi currently has the upper hand in this conversation, but Jonny intends to shift himself into a position of power by making himself the victim rather than the accused. They are currently engaged in competition for power, even if they don't know it.
- Scene 2: Playing the victim
- I'm not paranoid, I'm just worried about you. So where were you?
- Why do you keep attacking me?. Don't you trust me?
- No you weren't. You're just looking for an excuse to fight. You're crazy.
- Wasn't I?
- Jonny continues playing the victim, to the point where his accusations are becoming the topic of the conversation, rather than his suspicious activity. At this point Jonny has successfully manipulated his way into the victim role, and has more power in this argument. Jonny uses facial expressions of disappointment to further convince Vi of her own guilt.
- Scene 3: Make them question themselves
- What, no. I was just trying to look out for you.
- By continually accusing Vi of being the one in the wrong, Jonny is making her question herself. She is starting to doubt her own relationship values, her values being trust and communication. She is questioning whether her values might be too strict, and that maybe she isn't behaving in accordance with her own values.
- Scene 4: Final accusation
- It's not my fault you have trust issues. You need to sort that out.
- Maybe he's right. I do seem to question him a lot.
- Oh....
- Scene 5: Body language
- Jonny uses excessive body language (hands on face, tears), and a sorrowful tone to successfully play the role of the victim. Now Vi has completely forgotten her suspicions and is more worried about her own actions.
- It just hurts you know? Being constantly doubted by someone you love. Aren't you going to apologize?
- I'm so sorry! Please forgive me.
- Oh no! I'm such a bad girlfriend.
- Scene 6: Forgiveness
- At this point Jonny has shifted the argument a full 180°, ending with him forgiving Vi rather than her forgiving him, or even breaking up with him. He successfully gaslighted her into questioning her own sanity. This makes it easy for Jonny to maintain control in the relationship, because now he is the one in the right, and Vi is the one who has to make it up to him.
- I'll forgive you for now, but if you want this relationship to work you're gonna have to try harder.
- Thanks for your understanding, i promise to make it up to you.
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