When I was a baby faced, young boy. I would always grow my hair out long. Letting it flow in the breeze as I ran, skated, or acted a general fool.
I did it mainly because I wasn’t even paying attention. It gave me an excuse to keep playing. As a haircut implied sitting still.
But eventually, it became something I resented from reactions I tended to get throughout the years.
“That’s a pretty little girl” -says one of my mother’s friends, as she leans in. Only to realize I’m just an odd looking boy.
It became something of a daily routine to have my identity mistaken.
This sadly didn’t stop as I moved into my prepubescent years.I remember being looked at like I was weird anywhere I went.
"You'll always be judged for what people think you appeared to be."
I ran away from my appearance. Which inevitably led to it controlling my entire existence in an unhealthy way. In someways, I started to become the bully..
I became the person I never wanted to be. Because I was taught to hate the person I was all along.
I began judging other people for their appearance too. To make my self hatred seem less real.
But as I grew into myself, I learned to love who I was. Regardless of what I appeared to be.
I started taking care of myself & got more in tune with my feminine side. This led me out of the bully mentality!
These experiences showed me that people judge others mainly because they want to be loved not for who they are, but for what they appear to be.
I finally learned how to love what I looked like all along.
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