PLEASE MASTER!! PLEASE MAKE CLAIM TO MY CHILD! PLEASE DON'T SEND HIM AWAY!!
THAT IS A N***** IS AN ABOMINATION AND WILL BE SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER!
DIE NI***R!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!
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SLAVE NURSE
The illegitimacy of slave unions and hatred of biracial slave children who were born far too dark to be accepted was a concept that we knew far too well. As I said, masters and patrollers did not care for who you loved nor what you would do for them and as a majority in power, they were free to take advantage of you without having to deal with the repercussions.
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I knew that I had never wanted to inflict this life on a child. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone but to bring a child into a world that would not love, acknowledge, or accept them is an unnecessary evil that I never wanted to partake in, John agreed. We had both witnessed to slightly different sides of this world and had lived in very different ways. Even in his time as a free man, John had still witnessed racism, a lack of opportunity, stereotypes, poverty, and eventually being sold back into the system he had earned his due away from. He didn't want this life for his child.
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Alas . . . life. . . had other plans. When finding out that I was pregnant, John and I didn't know how to feel. We were mortified. Although the thought of a life and a family with one another was mesmerizing and beautiful, not in this life, not yet. As a slave, any and all children that you have are property of your master and they have the right to do anything that they want. At this moment, I didn't know what to do or what was to come, but I knew that I would protect my child with my life. I knew that the antebellum south is somewhere that my child would never come to know.
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We can only hope baby.
In order to protect our child and our family, John and I needed to revive someone that had been sacrificed for my own wellbeing. Someone that was not afraid to fight back, someone who knew what was possible for our people, someone who knew his value, we needed the John Smith of 1842.
Hereeee Kitty Kitty!
Since John had been a free man, it was a lot easier for him to decipher the messages sent to the slaves in the slave songs. The messages that would lead us to our freedom. Some of the songs were easy to understand, very straight forward like "Follow the drinking gourd", but others like "Swing low sweet Chariot", and "Steal away", needed some clarification. I would do anything for my child, anything for my love. I had been silent and obedient for so long, so afraid of my own humanity. That's what made by flee so much easier, so unexpected. Master William underestimated me, he underestimated my love.
I think the railroad is supposed to be underground..
In the 1860s when the Freedman's bureau and the concept of freedom was not something so foreign to the US, there were certain injustices undone or a shift in the making. Our marriages were legalized, slavery prohibited, the cotton industry on it way to ruin, a war had been fought and won for the "freedom" of our people. And when asked if I would do anything differently, if I would have just waited it out or been safer if I had never loved, my answer is no. I want to live life having said that I lived, and I want my child to be the same.
Will it get better mommy?
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