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the book that saved the earth

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the book that saved the earth
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  • Good afternoon. Welcome to our Museum of Ancient History, and to my department — curiosities of the good old, far-off twentieth century. The twentieth century was often called the Era of the Book. In those days, there were books about everything, from anteaters to Zulus. Books taught people how to, and when to, and where to, and why to. They illustrated ,educated, punctuated, and even decorated. But the strangest thing a book ever did was to save the Earth.
  • You haven’t heard about the Martian invasion of 2040? Tsk, tsk. What do they teach children nowadays? Well, you know, the invasion never really happened, because a single book stopped it. What was the book, you ask? A noble encyclopedia? A tome about rockets and missiles? A secret file from outer space? No, it was none of those. It was — but here, let me turn on the historiscope and show you what happened many centuries ago, in 2040.
  • (adjusting knobs) I have a close sighting of the spacecrew, sir.
  • (speaking into a microphone) Mars Space Controlcalling the crew of Probe One. Mars Space Controlcalling the crew of Probe One. Come in, CaptainOmega, and give us your location.
  • Excellent. Make voice contact.
  • iota - I can’t figure it out, Captain. (holding up a book) I’vecounted two thousand of these peculiar items. Thisplace must be some sort of storage barn. What do youthink, Sergeant Oop?
  • omega -(speaking into a disk which is on a chain around herneck) Captain Omega to Mars Space Control.Lieutenant Iota, Sergeant Oop, and I have arrived onEarth without incident. We have taken shelter in this(indicates room) — this square place. Have you anyidea where we are, Lieutenant Iota?
  • oop - I haven’t a clue. I’ve been to seven galaxies, but I’venever seen anything like this. Maybe they’re hats.(He opens a book and puts it on his head.) Say, maybethis is a haberdashery!
  • Elementary, my dear Omega. Hold one of the itemsup so that I may view it closely. (Omega holds a bookon the palm of her hand.) Yes, yes, I understand now.Since Earth creatures are always eating, the placein which you find yourselves is undoubtedly a cruderefreshment stand.
  • omega-(bowing low) Perhaps the Great and Mighty Think Tank will give us the benefit of his thought onthe matter.
  • (to Iota and Oop) He says we’re in a refreshment stand.
  • That item in your hand is called a sandwich.
  • To confirm my opinion, I order you to eat it.
  • (nodding) A sandwich.
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