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plz show this to Noah, William, Daniel, Luis, and every other freaking weir

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plz show this to Noah, William, Daniel, Luis, and every other freaking weir
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Текст Раскадровки

  • 1 Welcome to Professor Zee's Class On How To Make Your Girlfriend Happy. You are all here today, because you've failed to please your girlfriends. I'm here to help you learn from your failures, and to tell/show you how to not make those mistakes again.
  • 3 Well! Enough talk. Let's get started.
  • 2 The two girls are my personal assistants, and the boys are people who took this class, and passed. They're mostly here because maybe you'll listen to them.
  • |You're neglecting her
  • Attention Balance Chart.
  • |Just the right amount
  • |OMG, stop stalking her!
  • 1 Now, for starters, you must pay a good amount of attention to your girlfriend. There is such a thing as too little or too much. Too little attention means you're neglecting her, and too much attention means you're being a stalker. You may take a picture of Jillian's "Attention Balance Chart" for future reference
  • 2 This chart is important, kids. Learn from it.
  • NEVER COMMENT ON HER FAULTS, OR THIS WILL HAPPEN (this also applies to not being appreciative for what she does for you):
  • 1 You should never, and I mean ever, comment on her faults. Ever. She'll get mad, and when a girl gets mad at you, your life is over. Got it? And Krisstina's adaptation of such a scenario is 100% accurate. I highly recommend you take a picture of it. You should also always thank her if she works very hard for you, because those're manners, and she'll get mad at you.
  • 2 And rightfully so, too.
  • "You're always with your friends""You take me out to the cheapest places""You have poor hygiene" (please let this not be the case)"You flirt with other girls when I'm not around, I know it." (please let this not be the case either.)
  • 1 Another thing: She's always right. It doesn't matter what about. You may take a picture of Tres' examples.
  • 2 Of course, I couldn't add all the things girls be right about. There's so many things!
  • Pickup Lines
  • 3 Well. That's it. Any questions?
  • 4 Yeah. One.
  • 1 Oh, and one last thing: Never in your life use pickup lines. They're completely obnoxious, and no girls with a brain want to hear that crap. Most girls just want you to talk like a regular person.
  • 2 I'd show you examples, but the girls requested not to. They're too horrendous.
  • 1 Zee, will you go out with me?
  • Pickup Lines
  • 2 Maximillian Holt, I've told you a thousand times, and I'm not going to say it again: I'd jump in an active volcano before I'd ever consider going out with you.
  • 3 Please tell me he actually learned something today.
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