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- The Things I CAN Do
- Written by: Caylie Fuhrmann-Bell
- My name is Rosie, and I am 12 years old! I live here with my Daddy and my two little brothers, Sami and Owen.
- My Daddy works very hard so that my brothers and I can have all of these nice things and go out and do fun stuff.
- I love my brothers very much!
- But there are some things I don't WANT to do.
- So as the big sister, I help out sometimes.
- I have so much fun playing with them!
- But I don't want to be left home alone to take care of them for hours.
- I don't mind setting the table before dinner.
- But I don't want to cook the whole meal.
- I can help fold some laundry.
- But I don't want to wash, dry, and fold four loads all on my own.
- There are lots of things that I CAN do,
- I enjoy things like...
- But that doesn't mean I WANT to do them or that I should be expected to.
- I am a kid, I like to do kid stuff!
- Playing with my toys
- Playing with my friends
- Riding my bike
- But when I have to do grown-up things that take up lots of my time and lots of my energy,
- I don't have time to do the fun things I enjoy, and when I do have the time, I am just too tired.
- I like to help out where I can, it's respectful, it makes Daddy happy, and I know he appreciates me!
- But he is our Daddy, and although it's nice to help out sometimes,
- HE is there to take care of US, not the other way around.
- NOTES TO PARENTS:Parentification is a term used to generally describe when a child provides any kind of caregiving for family members that exceeds their developmental capacity. There are two simple types of parentification: adaptive and destructive.Adaptive parentification is temporary and mild, and it aligns with the child's development. The child is often given praise for their efforts, perceived as fair and rewarding. Destructive parentification pushes the child to do inappropriate tasks and caregiving that does not align with their development. Parentification can push children past their limits, mentally and physically, causing intense stress and robbing them of the childhood experiences they are supposed to be having. Parentification can have lasting negative effects on a child. Be AWARE of this, don't put your children in this position.
- References:
- Borchet, J., Lewandowska-Walter, A., Połomski, P., Peplińska, A., Hooper, L. M. (2020). We are in this Together: Retrospective Parentification, Sibling Relationships, and Self-Esteem. Journal of Child Family Studies, 29(10), 2982–2991. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-020-01723-3 Schorr, S., Goldner, L. (2023). “Like stepping on glass”: A theoretical model to understand the emotional experience of childhood parentification. Family Relations, 72(5), 3029-3048. Levine, L. E., Munsch, J. (2014). Child development: An active learning approach (2nd ed.). Sage Publications, Inc.***All illustrations done online using StoryboardThat.com
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