Teddy the Vampire Slayer
Storyboard Text
- In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer....
- Deniliquin, 2023, Teddy, Roisin and Emily together after a long day of doing nothing, decide to put on a comfort show
- You know I would definitely survive the longest out of all of us in the buffy universe
- No way, I'd survive the longest, I'm wiley
- bitchass
- If a vampire brought out a block of cheese you'd be on your knees
- A few episodes in...
- Omg guys look there's a secret episode on the special features of the dvd!
- Of course I would, as many times as he'd let me
- I don't remember seeing that before? But if Spikes in it it's worth watching
- Can't believe you would cheat on me with Spike
- I want a divorce
- Sunnydale, 1998
- Halfway through the secret episode ...
- *TV static crackling violently*
- NO STOP YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN THE SPELL!
- NOT THE MULLET!
- What are you on about you nutter nothing feels li- WOOAHH
- Does anyone feel a little like they're being pulled towards it or is that just me?
- WHAT THE FUUUUUUU-
- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- GRRRRRRRRR
- OW
- What the hell was that?!
- GRRRRRRRRR
- Where are we?!
- c'mon guys this isn't sweden... get a room...
- GRRRRRRRRR
- I got you baby, we're in this together
- EMILY WHATS GOING ON
- uhhh guys, I THINK WE HAVE COMPANY
- AHHHHHHH
- Is that Giles???
- QUICK FOLLOW ME! YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
- GUYS DOESN'T THIS LOOK LIKE SUNNYDALE CEMETERY!?
- I was thinking that - and its GILES?! Omg this means... WE HAVE TO FIND SPIKE
- Literally life and death situation over here Em
- Um,,, guys...
- Phew... I think we lost them
- That was so not tubular
- MMMM FRESH FLESH
- I can't believe I'm going to die a virgin
- Oh you'll be a treat alright...
- STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER AND HER UNDETERMINED GIRLFRIEND AND THIS FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO SOMEHOW SEEMS TO BE ALIVE YOU UGLY MR TUMNUS LOOKIN DICK
- TEDDY?!
- HEE YAH
- A slayer?
- Teddy catch!
- After a series of introductions, the trio and Giles arrive at Sunnydale High School library. As always, it is totally empty.
- POOF
- Teddy!? How did you?
- How remarkable...
- How did I....?
- Yeah...I think so...
- Are you alright?
- You're a slayer...
- Flashback - Sunnydale 1998, 3 hours before...
- But I'm just Teddy
- *trying to whisper* would kill you the first chance he got?
- Well, just Teddy, it seems you're a slayer.... also how rude of me, I'm Rupert Giles, watcher to the slayer Buffy Summers... who seems to have gone missing.
- *whispers* psst I know who could really help us... he's gorgeous, blonde and-
- Would you and your friends come with me to the school library so we can try to untangle this mess?
- The scoobies arrive in a local cave.
- Its like the secret episode we were watching?
- So what happened?
- Well, the last time I saw Buffy and her friends, I sent them to go and stop a fellow teenager who was thought to have stolen a powerful spellbook involved in universe jumping.
- My most educated guess thus far is that something went wrong and they've been sent to some other universe and in their absence, you Teddy, a potential slayer, have risen to power.
- Where we're from, you and Buffy and everyone else are in a TV show that we love and we literally just saw what happened to the scoobies!
- Giles, this is going to sound crazy but I think we might know what happened, you see we're not actually from Sunnydale.
- I suppose stranger things have happened... I've been turned into a demon, reverted back to my teenage self by a chocolate bar and watched the principal of this school turn into a giant worm so this is childsplay
- You're not?
- You know it sounds like you two got this... I think I'll go and insert mediocre excuse and leave it at that huh
- So we basically have to grab the spell book and stop the universe jumpy thing from happening?
- It seems this Cormac has taken a spell book involved with universe jumping, damaging the fabric of the universe could result in another apocalypse. So Buffy please see to it that he's... brought to justice.
- Ooo another apocalypse, what else is new?
- Precisely.
- Hey, Hulk Hogan, the 80s called they want their haircut back!
- HAHAH you can't be serious is that a mullet?
- Well my foot is about to be in the middle of your face if you don't stop this right now.
- Okay well don't say I didn't warn you.
- Sume me in universum, ubi mullet normales sunt, ubi acceptus ero, nec diutius celabo
- YOU CAN'T STOP ME I WILL GO TO A WORLD WHERE MULLETS ARE FINALLY ACCEPTED
- Shut up! I'm in the middle of something
- Meanwhile in Deniliquin 2023...
- NO STOP YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN THE SPELL
- OH THIS IS SO MY LUCKAGE
- AHHHHHHH
- BUFF WHATS GOING ON
- YOU FOOL LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU'VE SET THE FIRE BEFORE IT WAS READY
- Back to present - Sunnydale 1998
- But we don't know where he was trying to go. That might be where the scoobies went?
- *GASP* It's....Deni
- It says it must be a place where mullets are abound, there are exactly six pubs, a ute on a stick, all facilities and shops shut at 1pm and there are killer ducks in Waring gardens?? How peculiarly specific.
- Well I managed to find a duplicate of the spell book he was using, and given what you said he said about mullets there is a passage in here about going to a place mullets are well accepted.
- Oh dear god.
- Where the hell are we?
- And whys the water so brown?
- Back to Sunnydale 1998
- Deni is where we came from!
- Ah, I see what's happened here, it appears that when Cormac did the spell he made a link with your world through the medium of a television program
- And since Buffy and her friends were sent there, you three have been brought here in their place, the universe requires balance you see.
- Okay so how do we get back home?
- Like the pens I draw with?
- Well, I've consulted the book of Theodoralis and it says that the spell can only be broken by someone with great artistic talent and something about a... well this odd,.. a fineliner?
- Who'd have thought "fineliner" would've translated so well from ancient Theodorian.
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