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- I hated the person I saw in the mirror. Things did not look right and I hated it—my skin was too pale. The bags under my eyes are the size of a grocery bag. My body made me want to be someone else. My hair was dry and dull. My eyes were uneven. Taller than everyone in my whole school. I hated myself. I hated Jaelyn Hernandez. I wished to be someone else, oh how I wanted not to live my life.
- Aren´t you hot, just take that thing off already?!
- To conceal and hide away I would wear extremely oversized hoodies. Lik a ´shell¨ I hid away in order to feel okay. No matter the weather, it could have been 100 degrees and I would be wearing a hoodie, you would never see me without one on. This was the only way I knew how to be comfortable.
- Living in California it is always hot. With this and my extreme insecurity, I was suffering more than just being insecure. So my life consisted of hating myself and always being hot. This became something my family began to notice. I would come home walking from school red as a tomato with sweat running down my body.
- The main person in my family to notice was my grandma. She would always make comments like ¨Ï´m sweating just looking at you¨ and ´Aren´t you hot, just take that thing off already¨. I paid no mind to these remarks and kept on wearing my hoodie. One day my grandma and I went out and that´s when she finally asked ¨Why do you always have a hoodie on?¨. I did not know what to say at first, and after a few moments of silence I burst out into tears and said ¨BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF¨.
- After I said this my grandma tried to soothe me and she said ¨God made you the way you are and you cannot change it so embrace it, love who you are because you are beautiful¨. These words changed me forever. After a very long talk, and many more after that I realized that I had nothing to hate about myself. My grandma was right, she helped me to be happy and live a better life no longer wearing a hoodie everywhere I went in order to feel safe and secure. It was not only just the hoodies, but she helped me to be confident and love myself.
- My grandma showed me how beautiful I am inside and out. The most valuable lesson out of all of this though, is that inner beauty is what matters most. My grandma is a very wise woman who continues to teach me important things like this every day. Self-love is something that I practice every day. There are days when I want to go back to my ¨shell¨, but I remember the words¨God made you the way you are and you cannot change it so embrace it, and love who you are because you are beautiful¨
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