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  • Esav, I am blind and will die soon. I need you to hunt and prepare a meal for me so I can give you my blessing
  • Okay! I love hunting! Let me go out now!
  • Oh no!! Yaakov deserves the bracha, but he's not going to get it! I need to act fast!
  • Yaakov, dad just told Esav that HE would get the bracha, not you! Go and get two goats that I can cook. Bring them to your father, and you'll get the bracha!
  • Don't even worry about it! The curse will be on me! Please just do what I tell you!
  • I don't want Dad to see me as a trickster! He'll catch me because I am smooth, and Esav is hairy! Then he'll just curse me and I don't want that!
  • Okay then. I'll do it.
  • Oh jeez, I'm so nervous!
  • Okay. Now that the meal is all set, let me just put some clothes and hair on you so you look like Esav. 
  • Hey, which brother are you?
  • Oh, that's weird. Esav wouldn't attribute his success to Hashem...
  • How did you get your food so quickly?
  • Hey pop! I'm Esav, your firstborn, and I got you some food so you can bless me!
  • Hashem is great! He blessed me with good fortune!
  • Hmmmm...that's weird. You sound like Yaakov but you feel like Esav, so I'll just bless you.
  • יַֽעַבְד֣וּךָ עַמִּ֗ים וישתחו [וְיִֽשְׁתַּחֲו֤וּ] לְךָ֙ לְאֻמִּ֔ים הֱוֵ֤ה גְבִיר֙ לְאַחֶ֔יךָ וְיִשְׁתַּחֲוּ֥וּ לְךָ֖ בְּנֵ֣י אִמֶּ֑ךָ אֹרְרֶ֣יךָ אָר֔וּר וּֽמְבָרֲכֶ֖יךָ בָּרֽוּךְ׃ Let peoples serve you, And nations bow to you; Be master over your brothers, And let your mother’s sons bow to you. Cursed be they who curse you, Blessed they who bless you.”וְיִֽתֶּן־לְךָ֙ הָאֱלֹהִ֔ים מִטַּל֙ הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וּמִשְׁמַנֵּ֖י הָאָ֑רֶץ וְרֹ֥ב דָּגָ֖ן וְתִירֹֽשׁ׃ “May God give you Of the dew of heaven and the fat of the earth, Abundance of new grain and wine. 
  • Oh my God! Esav just pledged to kill you after Yitzchak told him he would serve you! You need to run away to my brother Lavan now!
  • Let's see... What's in it for me? Wait... I will end up protecting myself, so mom's right again on this one.
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