John was unlike anyone I had ever met before, or any one I had ever allowed myself to know. It wasn't his strength, or his charm, or even his face that made me fall for him. It was his selflessness. Johns willingness to sacrifice a major piece of himself in order to protect people he rarely knows, and his ability to not fear what could be taken from him stunned me. John said, " Loss in life is inevitable, but I'd like to leave this world saying that I lived." That was the day that I knew I loved him.
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JOHNNNN!!
When John first asked me to marry him, I laughed. I had laughed so hard that I almost fell over, and then I saw him , on one knee, he was serious. Most slaves aren't given the opportunity to marry because the masters are too afraid we'd flee, and although we know what a marriage is, it isn't something that we see often. Marriage is a privilege that typically only white folks have, legally at that. Some masters allow for house slaves to have ceremonies but others, like our master, simply allows for the pair to live together and that was the only recognition of our union they'd partake in. Even then, it was not a legal marriage. But I did it anyway, because I loved him.
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A marriage is a beautiful thing and is a day to celebrate. But as a slave, you are expected to resume your regular duties after your move and ceremony if allowed one at all. I don't think that the majority of us had even heard of a honeymoon at this point in time. In fact, the primary or sole aspect of a slaves marriage was just that, a marriage. Our marriage was a statement of our love for one another and a declaration to always remain true to it no matter what. But, words are words. There's nothing binding nor official about words so our marriages were simply entertainment .
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Since slaves unions have no legal standing, we remain unprotected from masters and patrollers who want to demonstrate their dominance, remind us of our status and insignificance, or who simply want to try a black woman. No protection from being separated and sold to another plantation. It is the reason that some white folk feared our unions so much, feared our love. They were worried that slaves would retaliate and fight them for their partner, risk their lives for them. It is the reason why I never wanted to love, but alas, life had other plans.
When our master had heard that we enacted our union without his presence and deemed it official, he felt disrespected. He had let us move together and yet we felt it was not enough, how dare we. So, in an attempt of mockery and to remind us that our lives and any life that we produce is his own, he made us jump the broom. Jumping the broom was a practice very common among slave ceremonies both forced and desired as a way to legitimize the marriage. Masters often see it as pitiful and comical hence why it was a fit form of mockery for us.
Regardless of what white America had said, John and I knew that our love was real and we were bound to each other for life. We didn't need a fancy document, we didn't need our masters acknowledgement, we didn't need freedom.....it would be nice...but for now, we were enough to make me want to live.
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