Colonel Fazackerley Butterworth-ToastBought an old castle complete with a ghost,But someone or other forgot to declareTo Colonel Fazak that the spectre was there.
On the very first evening, while waiting to dine The Colonel was taking a fine sherry wine,When the ghost, with a furious flash and a flare,Shot out of the chimney and shivered, ‘Beware!’
BEWARE!!
Colonel Fazackerley put down his glass And said, ‘My dear fellow, that’s really first class!I just can’t conceive how you do it at all.I imagine you’re going to a Fancy Dress Ball?’
At this, the dread ghost made a withering cry.Said the Colonel (his monocle firm in his eye),‘Now just how you do it I wish I could think.Do sit down and tell me, and please have a drink.’
The ghost in his phosphorous cloak gave a roarAnd floated about between ceiling and floor.He walked through a wall and returned through a pane And backed up the chimney and came down again.
Said the Colonel, ‘With laughter I’m feeling quite weak!’(As trickles of merriment ran down his cheek).‘My house-warming party I hope you won’t spurn.You must say you’ll come and you’ll give us a turn!’
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