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Teddy the Vampire Slayer

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Teddy the Vampire Slayer
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  • In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer....
  • Deniliquin, 2023, Teddy, Roisin and Emily together after a long day of doing nothing, decide to put on a comfort show
  • You know I would definitely survive the longest out of all of us in the buffy universe
  • No way, I'd survive the longest, I'm wiley
  • bitchass
  • If a vampire brought out a block of cheese you'd be on your knees
  • A few episodes in...
  • Omg guys look there's a secret episode on the special features of the dvd!
  • Of course I would, as many times as he'd let me
  • I don't remember seeing that before? But if Spikes in it it's worth watching
  • Can't believe you would cheat on me with Spike
  • I want a divorce
  • Sunnydale, 1998
  • Halfway through the secret episode ...
  • *TV static crackling violently*
  • NO STOP YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN THE SPELL!
  • NOT THE MULLET!
  • What are you on about you nutter nothing feels li- WOOAHH
  • Does anyone feel a little like they're being pulled towards it or is that just me?
  • WHAT THE FUUUUUUU-
  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • GRRRRRRRRR
  • OW
  • What the hell was that?!
  • GRRRRRRRRR
  • Where are we?!
  • c'mon guys this isn't sweden... get a room...
  • GRRRRRRRRR
  • I got you baby, we're in this together
  • EMILY WHATS GOING ON
  • uhhh guys, I THINK WE HAVE COMPANY
  • AHHHHHHH
  • Is that Giles???
  • QUICK FOLLOW ME! YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
  • GUYS DOESN'T THIS LOOK LIKE SUNNYDALE CEMETERY!?
  • I was thinking that - and its GILES?! Omg this means... WE HAVE TO FIND SPIKE
  • Literally life and death situation over here Em
  • Um,,, guys...
  • Phew... I think we lost them
  • That was so not tubular
  • MMMM FRESH FLESH
  • I can't believe I'm going to die a virgin
  • Oh you'll be a treat alright...
  • STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER AND HER UNDETERMINED GIRLFRIEND AND THIS FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO SOMEHOW SEEMS TO BE ALIVE YOU UGLY MR TUMNUS LOOKIN DICK
  • TEDDY?!
  • HEE YAH
  • A slayer?
  • Teddy catch!
  • After a series of introductions, the trio and Giles arrive at Sunnydale High School library. As always, it is totally empty.
  • POOF
  • Teddy!? How did you?
  • How remarkable...
  • How did I....?
  • Yeah...I think so...
  • Are you alright?
  • You're a slayer...
  • Flashback - Sunnydale 1998, 3 hours before...
  • But I'm just Teddy
  • *trying to whisper* would kill you the first chance he got?
  • Well, just Teddy, it seems you're a slayer.... also how rude of me, I'm Rupert Giles, watcher to the slayer Buffy Summers... who seems to have gone missing.
  • *whispers* psst I know who could really help us... he's gorgeous, blonde and-
  • Would you and your friends come with me to the school library so we can try to untangle this mess?
  • The scoobies arrive in a local cave.
  • Its like the secret episode we were watching?
  • So what happened?
  • Well, the last time I saw Buffy and her friends, I sent them to go and stop a fellow teenager who was thought to have stolen a powerful spellbook involved in universe jumping.
  • My most educated guess thus far is that something went wrong and they've been sent to some other universe and in their absence, you Teddy, a potential slayer, have risen to power.
  • Where we're from, you and Buffy and everyone else are in a TV show that we love and we literally just saw what happened to the scoobies!
  • Giles, this is going to sound crazy but I think we might know what happened, you see we're not actually from Sunnydale.
  • I suppose stranger things have happened... I've been turned into a demon, reverted back to my teenage self by a chocolate bar and watched the principal of this school turn into a giant worm so this is childsplay
  • You're not?
  • You know it sounds like you two got this... I think I'll go and insert mediocre excuse and leave it at that huh
  • So we basically have to grab the spell book and stop the universe jumpy thing from happening?
  • It seems this Cormac has taken a spell book involved with universe jumping, damaging the fabric of the universe could result in another apocalypse. So Buffy please see to it that he's... brought to justice.
  • Ooo another apocalypse, what else is new?
  • Precisely.
  • Hey, Hulk Hogan, the 80s called they want their haircut back!
  • HAHAH you can't be serious is that a mullet?
  • Well my foot is about to be in the middle of your face if you don't stop this right now.
  • Okay well don't say I didn't warn you.
  • Sume me in universum, ubi mullet normales sunt, ubi acceptus ero, nec diutius celabo
  • YOU CAN'T STOP ME I WILL GO TO A WORLD WHERE MULLETS ARE FINALLY ACCEPTED
  • Shut up! I'm in the middle of something
  • Meanwhile in Deniliquin 2023...
  • NO STOP YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN THE SPELL
  • OH THIS IS SO MY LUCKAGE
  • AHHHHHHH
  • BUFF WHATS GOING ON
  • YOU FOOL LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU'VE SET THE FIRE BEFORE IT WAS READY
  • Back to present - Sunnydale 1998
  • But we don't know where he was trying to go. That might be where the scoobies went?
  • *GASP* It's....Deni
  • It says it must be a place where mullets are abound, there are exactly six pubs, a ute on a stick, all facilities and shops shut at 1pm and there are killer ducks in Waring gardens?? How peculiarly specific.
  • Well I managed to find a duplicate of the spell book he was using, and given what you said he said about mullets there is a passage in here about going to a place mullets are well accepted.
  • Oh dear god.
  • Where the hell are we?
  • And whys the water so brown?
  • Back to Sunnydale 1998
  • Deni is where we came from!
  • Ah, I see what's happened here, it appears that when Cormac did the spell he made a link with your world through the medium of a television program
  • And since Buffy and her friends were sent there, you three have been brought here in their place, the universe requires balance you see.
  • Okay so how do we get back home?
  • Like the pens I draw with?
  • Well, I've consulted the book of Theodoralis and it says that the spell can only be broken by someone with great artistic talent and something about a... well this odd,.. a fineliner?
  • Who'd have thought "fineliner" would've translated so well from ancient Theodorian.
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