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Chapter 22

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Chapter 22
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  • PEREK 22
  • (1)Look what the Jews did to the Amorites
  • Yeesh Im disgusted by these Israelites(3)
  • Book of Chronicles
  • (2)I should ask Midyan about their leader
  • Now this nation will lick clean all that is about us as an ox licks up the grass of (1)the field.
  • I must hire someone with the same power!(3)
  • Their leader's power is in his mouth(2)
  • (1)say this to Balaam son of Beor in Pethoer
  • (2)Aight
  • There is a people that came out of Egypt; it hides the earth from view, and it is settled next to me.Come then, put a curse upon this people for me, since they are too numerous for me; perhaps I can thus defeat them and drive them out of the land. For I know that whomever you bless is blessed indeed, and whomever you curse is cursed.
  • (1)*says the things Balak wanted*
  • (2)Spend the night here, and I shall reply to you as יהוה may instruct me.
  • (2)Balak son of Zippor, king of Moab, sent me this message: *says the same thing as the messengers*
  • What did they want?? (1)
  • (3)Do not go with them. You must not curse that people, for they are blessed
  • (2)Aight
  • (1)sorry, G-d said no so go home now
  • (2)Fine, I'll just send better ones of you guys
  • (1)So Balam refused to come with us...
  • Thus says Balak son of (1)Zippor: Please do not refuse to come to me.I will reward you richly and I will do anything you ask of me. Only come and damn this people for me.
  • (2)No thanks,but stay for the night
  • If the agents have come to invite you, you may go with them. But whatever I command you, that you shall do.(1)
  • (2)Okay
  • What are you doing you dummy?!
  • (1)Can't do that one
  • OWW MY LEG! STOP THAT YOU DUMB DONKEY AND GO BACK
  • (4)You have made a mockery of me! If I had a sword with me, I’d kill you.
  • No(6)
  • Look, I am the donkey that you have been riding all along until this day! Have I been in the habit of doing thus to you?(5)
  • Open your mouth girl(2)
  • (3)What have I done to you that you have beaten me these three times?
  • woah(1)
  • (4)Go with the men. But you must say nothing except what I tell you.
  • (1)Open your eyes
  • (5)I erred because I did not know that you were standing in my way. If you still disapprove, I will turn back.
  • (2)Why have you beaten your ass these three times? It is I who came out as an adversary, for the errand is obnoxious to me.And when the ass saw me, she shied away because of me those three times. If she had not shied away from me, you are the one I should have killed, while sparing her.
  • They're on the donkeys you just can't tell
  • (1)When I first sent to invite you, why didn’t you come to me? Am I really unable to reward you?
  • (2)And now that I have come to you, have I the power to speak freely? I can utter only the word that God puts into my mouth.
  • I'm a vegan
  • alak sacrificed oxen and sheep, and had them served to Balaam and the elders with him
  • THE END
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