Young-Graphic story panels pt1

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as a kid, i always thought to myself, "Was this real..?"
In a way, i feel like i had a safe place. In my mind. Alone. Just me.
And after my bestfriend died, it only got worse.
when I think about him, i escape to my mind palace. Its a form of derealization but also my way of overcoming grief
After my best friends passing from a car accident, I've been escaping.
Not physically, but mentally. I feel his passing was my form of overcoming grief.
last year, my friend Issac was walking in the streets of Chicago at night.
nothings been the same since.
After a few minutes, a drunk driver had hit him. He was then pronounced dead.
My mother always tried comforting me over his death but i always derealized it. I could nevr understand her after that.
Do I exist..? Is what happened really real?
Everyday after getting home from school, I had the same routine and thought the same thing.
I coped with it using books and by being alone in my mind.
After a few months with getting help, i feel like i started escaping more and more.
I knew it was bad, but i couldn't help it.

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