the book that saved the earth
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- Good afternoon. Welcome to our Museum of Ancient History, and to my department — curiosities of the good old, far-off twentieth century. The twentieth century was often called the Era of the Book. In those days, there were books about everything, from anteaters to Zulus. Books taught people how to, and when to, and where to, and why to. They illustrated ,educated, punctuated, and even decorated. But the strangest thing a book ever did was to save the Earth.
- You haven’t heard about the Martian invasion of 2040?Tsk, tsk. What do they teach children nowadays? Well, you know, the invasion never really happened, because a single book stopped it. What was the book, you ask? A noble encyclopedia? A tome about rockets and missiles? A secret file from outer space? No, it was none of those. It was — but here, let me turn on the historiscope and show you what happened many centuries ago, in 2040.
- O Great and Mighty Think-Tank, most powerful and intelligent creature in the whole universe, what are your orders?
- It shall be done, sir. O Great and Mighty Think-Tank, Ruler of Mars and her two moons, most powerful and intelligent creature in the whole universe — what-are-your-orders?
- You left out part of my salutation,Apprentice Noodle. Go over the whole thing again.
- Earth, your Intelligence.
- Earth — of course. You see how insignificant the place is? But first, something important. My mirror. I wish to consult my mirror.
- That’s better, Noodle. I wish to be placed in communication with our manned space probe to that ridiculous little planet we are going to put under our generous rulership. What do they call it, again?
- Quicker. Answer quicker next time .I hate a slow mirror. Ah, there I am. Are we Martians not a handsome race? So much more attractive than those ugly Earthlings with their tiny heads. Noodle, you keep on exercising your mind, and someday you’ll have a balloon brain just like mine.
- Mirror, mirror, in my hand. Who is the most fantastically intellectually gifted being in the land?
- ........You, sir.
- Oh, I hope so, Mighty Think-Tank. I hope so.
- Now, contact the space probe. I want to invade thatprimitive ball of mud called Earth before lunch.
- It shall be done, sir.
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