Dan's Shit Life
Süžeeskeem Tekst
- Hi I'm Dan! I'm an Ivey grad and I am going to be rich!
- Ivey Business School
- Dan travels to Vancouver to move in with his parents and find a job.
- To Do's •Apply for jobs
- Dan is tired of cover letters...decides to take a siesta.
- Cover letters
- After countless interviews, Dan receives a formal job offer to work as an urban planning consultant!
- AHHHHHHH! What a horrible nightmare!
- To Do's •Apply for jobs
- Cover letters
- Dan relaxes, realizing that the second toothbrush is his mother's.
- Dan, it would be a pleasure to have you on our team. You're hired!
- Dan meets an advisor to craft his financial plan. They plan his objectives and identify his risk tolerance. He also learns what insurance to buy in the future.
- Mutual Funds
- Seg Funds
- Insurance
- Dan, I have some great technology stocks for you.
- Maybe later. Global warming is a long-term, tidal force and as a result I'm interested in clean tech and infrastructure.
- One day, as Dan's wife is driving home from work, the unthinkable happens.
- I'm sorry sir. She's gone
- Dan's wife did not have life insurance; he was on the hook for an elaborate cave funeral and the burden of raising a young family alone.
- RIP
- Dan is forced to liquidate investments. SnapChat still hasn't made a dime and Dan sells at an all-time low, but is still liable for the taxes he deferred in his RSP.
- Who you looking at #*@?! By the way, you sucked in Casper
- ...50 years later
- Thanks for letting me stay with you, pumpkin. Can you pick me up some Depends from Wal-Mart?
- Dan has just retired. He married his financial advisor, and they never divorced. They saved enough money to survive without assistance from their kids. Their kids will inherit a lucrative trust which includes insurance proceeds and their two homes.
- ...50 years later
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